A Bowl of Fruits a day keeps illness at bay!!!

Have you wondered anytime, why we need to eat fruits in an empty stomach and not after a meal? Eating fruit in an empty stomach plays a very important role in detoxifying our system, supplying us with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other physical activities. Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes -all of these will NOT happen if you eat fruit in an empty stomach

Fruits are the most important food in our diet:

There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body.  If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruit, you have the Secret for Beauty, Longevity, Health, Energy, Happiness and Normal weight. 

When you need to drink fruit juice, drink only fresh fruit juice, not from the packs and cans. Don't drink juice that has been heated. Don't eat cooked fruit; you don't get the nutrients at all. You get only the taste... Cooking destroys all of the vitamins. Better still, eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit-fast to cleanse your body. Eat fruit and drink fruit juice for just 3 days, and you will be surprised when your friends say how radiant you look!

Fruits and their Benefits:

KIWI: Tiny but mighty, and a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange!

AN APPLE a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C, thereby helping to lower the risk of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.

ORANGES: Eating 2 oranges a day may help keep cold at bay, lowers the cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones, and reduce the risk of colon cancer.

WATERMELON: The coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, watermelon helps boost our immune system. Watermelon also contains lycopene, the cancer-fighting oxidant. Also found in watermelon are Vitamin C & Potassium.

GUAVA & PAPAYA: Rich source of vitamin C; they are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene, good for your eyes. 

BANANA: Banana is one of the staple foods in our country and is a rich source of vitamin B6 and iron. Banana helps to overcome depression and is a great mood elevating fruit and also aids in digestion. Bananas are a rich source of fiber and aid in the proper functioning of our digestive system.

MANGO: Mango the King of fruits is a rich source of potassium, calcium and vitamin A, has anti- cancer and immune boosting properties. Mango helps in the production of Red Blood Cells and is a super fruit that has a calming effect on the nervous system.

So go ahead and indulge in a bowl full of these super fruits from nature’s bounty and lead a happy, healthy, radiant and a beautiful life.

Steps to live happily ever after !!!

The other day, I was having a chat with one of my neighbors. She is an old aunty, who gave me some pep talk. I liked the way she looked at life and at her age, she appeared so strong and balanced emotionally. After the chat with her, she did not appear to me old anymore and I could see the beauty in her emotional well-being. She was so happy with herself and with life.

Most of us do not need a definition for happiness; we know it when we feel it. However, there are times when we all feel low for some unknown reason, which keeps troubling us.

Poetry and Art: Patricia Walter.

These are the steps of highly happy and successful people, which I thought I will share with you. Maybe it can pull you through a tough time and bring a happier state of mind.

 1. Stop worrying. Whatever happens will happen and there is a reason behind all pain and gain.

 2. Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being excellent

 3. Don't let your happiness depend on anything outside you. You are the only person who can choose to be a happy or sad and make yourself feel happy.

 4. Stay close to everything that makes you feel alive.

 5. Listen to your body; it will lead you to unlimited health.

 6. Surround yourself with people who will make you feel happy. Better still; call up that one person with whom you are comfortable and who will definitely make you feel happy, at the end of the conversation.

 7. Make peace with your past. Do not worry too much about the future and bask in the glory of the present. Don't postpone joy.

 8. See all setbacks as growth and expansive opportunities.

 9. Comparing yourself to others will hurt your health and steal your joy. You are what you are.

10. Don't give up, EVER. Failure is the stepping stone to success.

11. You always have a choice. Do not settle for something less that you don’t deserve.

12. Stop chasing what’s not working. Just let go.

13. Believe wholeheartedly in miracles. Every day is a miracle.

14. Trust the universe, there is a plan greater than yours.

15. Wake up every morning with a grateful heart. Thank God that you are still alive.

16. Remember things take time. Give the time some time.

17. No need to change people and you do not have to change as well. Learn to accept people for what and who they are.

18. Forgive yourself. We are humans after all.

19. Your life is a creative adventure. Go on a jolly ride and take things easy.

20. Release expectations and enjoy the journey, there is no destination.

Last but not the least, have faith God. He is the creator of all things, Joy and sorrow. Nothing can happen without His knowledge. Believe that He will carry the burden of your welfare and nothing can go wrong.

Henry David Thorte

_

Hidden Meanings in Corporate Talks.

Came across some funny corporate talks and thought will share them with you.

1."We will do it" means "You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on it"

4."Tomorrow, first thing in the morning" means "It is not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually fibbed"

7."Let us call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"

8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do it on time"

9."We are on the right track, but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out, no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you had told me earlier, that would have made hardly any difference!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well, I will tell you where your fault is"

14."Well, Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know...you cannot afford to take off at this juncture"

15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

All you corporate folks out there, are the hidden meanings really true????

How Kitchen cures can help you save your money, by using Natural Remedies for your Aches and Pains and Other Every Day Problems

There are ways for you to be healthy and save money too.

What you should do is, replace some of pricey drugstore medication, with natural remedies for aches, pain and common cold/ flu symptoms.

These natural cures remedies work the same way or even better than drugs.

How to heal your ache with ginger tea

If you have a headache, try to sip ginger tea instead of a classical medication.

Ginger contains a compound that will block the pain signal transition to your brain.

You can buy ginger tea at any supermarket.

Ginger is good for your stomach too.

Next time when you have tummy troubles, do not use anti nausea medication, take ginger.

It will calm your stomach in just a few minutes, neutralizing your stomach acid and speed up your digestion.

How to ease your skin’s wrinkles

You should make a mask by mixing one tablespoon fine sugar with the juice from two green grapes, then apply it on your face and leave it for 15-20 minutes.

Repeat this twice a week.

The acids contained in grapes will make your fine lines disappear; you will save money on expensive cosmetics too.

How to cure your cough with flax seeds

Next time when you get a cough opt for a tea made from one-tablespoon flax seeds and one-cup water.

Then let it simmer for 5-10 minutes and drink it while it is still warm.

The secret is in the mucilage substance from flax seeds, which will block your urge to cough.

If you are coughing with phlegm, break the congestion by drinking more water.

How to eliminate dandruff

You can easily turn your regular shampoo into a potential dandruff fighter by adding five to ten drops of eucalyptus oil.

You will notice an improvement in just a few days.

Eucalyptus oil contains anti fungal compounds that will kill the dandruff.

Courtesy: Unknown

An Ode To a Best Friend!!!

Long long ago and not so long ago, there came a person in my life who now I call my close friend or better still ‘My Best Friend’. Though we were in college together, we did not realize that one day we shall become the best of buddies. We may be miles apart and yet so close. My friend is my punching bag and she uses me as her punching bag as well. I am sure, that all of you will have that ‘one best friend’ or ‘best friends’ who have come as a blessing in your life.

This article is a dedication to all my best friends who have made me what I am today.

I think that the term ‘Best Friend’ may seem a little childish now that we have all grown to become adults and yet the term ‘Best Friend’ brings in so much of warmth and wonderful memories. We may all be busy with our families, children and work. We may no longer have the time for our best friends, but the very thought, that there is a best friend in our life make us smile. We may meet so many people in our lives some good and some not so good, strangers and acquaintances and yet nobody can be like your best friend. A best friend is like a treasure whose memories should be guarded and cherished. Years would have gone by and times changed, but it is difficult to forget a best friend.

 According to me:

  A best friend is someone you can argue with, then laugh with.

 A best friend is someone who’s always available to listen to your problems when you 

 need him/her.

 A best friend is someone who doesn't always do everything you want to do, but tries  to construct your personality.

A best friend is someone who always does what's best for you.

A best friend is someone who builds you up and not pulls you down.

A best friend is someone you can trust with your most hidden secrets.

A best friend is someone who will listen to all your nonsense talk and still be patient with you.

On a lighter note let me share with you some funny quotes on ‘Best Friends’. Read and enjoy them. Spare a moment’s thought for your best friend or friends, near or far.

We are best friends always. Remember that I will pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.

A best friend is the person who makes you laugh, when you think that you will never 

smile again.

Strangers think that I am quiet, but my best friend knows that I am completely insane.

Best friends laugh at the silliest jokes, come up with the craziest ideas, put up with each other’s mood swings and yet, remain best friends.

A best friend will always walk with you, when all others walk out.

So many memories, so many fights, so many jokes always when I am with you. You are my best friend.

A best friend is one who knows the angels and the demons in you and still loves you.

Best friends in your life will make you laugh a little louder, smile a little brighter and live life better.

I know that I have a best friend and I am happy for that.

.

Change is constant and permanent- Reinvent yourself.

The other day, I was reading an article in a magazine on ‘Why Reinvention is necessary for an Organization to sustain and succeed in Business’. The writer had stressed upon various issues stating as to why an organization, needs to keep reinventing itself, to compete with its competitors and to sustain in the business as well. That is when a thought crossed my mind. Is reinvention necessary only for an organization? Is it not necessary for the individual? As the saying goes ‘The only thing that is constant and permanent is change’. As an individual, it is essential for us to keep reinventing ourselves, to succeed in life and also to compete with our own selves.

It is necessary for an individual to keep learning new skills and acquiring more knowledge.  It is sometimes amazing to hear people in their fifty’s and sixty’s, talk about a new Application or a Tool relating to some software and the younger generation not making head or tail of it. It is equally amazing to come across some people, who are resistant to change and are happy being in their comfort zone. As long as you are happy and satisfied in your comfort zone, everything may seem just fine. But never give yourself a chance to complain in the future, that you should have probably taken that opportunity to reinvent yourself and change. Just as how an overhauling would do much good to a car, enabling it to perform better, similarly reinventing oneself would do as much as good to the individual. It will open the doors of opportunity and widen the spectrum of learning and experience.

At one point in life, we all reach that cross road where we are undecided and confused with the way our career or life is going. There are some, who would have made it in their careers and achieved all their dreams and yet would have reached that point of saturation and boredom, not knowing the next course of action. There are others, who may have not been as successful in making a career for themselves and are confused and disappointed with the way their life has taken them.  It is at this stage, that people realize that probably they should have taken the effort to reinvent themselves. But then it becomes too late when things have gone beyond control. When we resist change, it creates internal conflict. It leads to low self esteem and lack of confidence.  Never give an opportunity to complain about yourself. Opportunities are plenty. Make use of them.

I should confess here that it was this process of reinvention, which opened the opportunities for me as a blogger. All along I had been happy in my comfort zone, being the dutiful homemaker. But then I realized that apart from being a homemaker I need to do something extra to make myself happy. It was this reinvention, which has now given me the identity as a writer and blogger.

Reinventing oneself allows us to consider things from different angles. We do not lose our original identity but just add another dimension to it. It helps us to snap out of our boredom and monotony. It transforms us an individual and we can look forward to something new. Be it at workplace or at home, do not shy away from learning something different. The point is to learn and do something ‘Out of the Ordinary’.

Visualize how you want to see yourself 3 years down the line and not 10 years. Be practical in your dreams and goals. 10 years is a long way to go.

Strive to achieve your dreams and aspirations. Keep constantly looking out for opportunities to reinvent yourself, so that you will not become redundant.

It always seems impossible until it’s done. Nelson Mandela.

Be patient with yourself. Reinvention does not mean, performing miracles in a day or two where you learn the new skills in a day’s time and master it in a week’s time. Go slow but be steady. One day when you pause to reflect about how much you have evolved as a person, you will find a happier YOU!

Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition. Reinvent yourself. Abraham Lincoln.

Maryan-Movie Review

                                       

       

                                              Maryan (Tamil)

Cast:                           Dhanush, Parvathy Menon, Appukutty and Salim Kumar.

Directed by:               Bharat Bala

Written by:                 Bharat Bala

Music:                        A.R.Rahman

The Story:

‘Maryan’ is the story of a fisherman played by Dhanush. Maryan (Dhanush), lives in a village by the sea called Neerodi. He has a special bonding with the sea and calls himself ‘Kadal Rasa’ which means, ‘The Prince of the Ocean’. Panimalar ( Parvathy Menon), falls in love with Maryan and shows no inhibitions in confessing her love for him. However, Maryan tries to rebuff her advances towards him. Eventually, Maryan falls in love with Panimalar.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, Maryan is faced with a situation where he needs to support Panimalar financially and therefore, takes up a job in Sudan, for two years on contract basis.

After completing with the two years assignment in Sudan, when Maryan decides to come back to his motherland, that is when tragedy strikes in the form of Sudanese terrorists who kidnap Maryan and two of his co-workers. Maryan and his friend are held in captivity, the Sudanese terrorists demanding a ransom in return to set them free. Maryan escapes from the terrorists after being in captivity for twenty-one days.  How Maryan makes good his escape from a foreign land, the struggles that he faces during the days of captivity and escape and whether he unites with his ladylove back home, form the second half of the movie.

Review:

Should say that, Maryan’s struggles and his escape from the terrorists, is the main crux of the movie, ‘Maryan’ is nothing less than a poetry. In this age of masala movie making, where formula movies work and is the order of the day, ‘Maryan’ is like a breeze amongst the storm, especially for the Tamil film industry.

However, there are some loopholes and flaws here and there. ‘Maryan’ loses its poetry in the second half, when the movie transcends continents and moves to Sudan. There is a feeling of incompleteness.There is more melodrama and somewhere, the director seems to have wavered in the plot.

Talking about the actors, Dhanush has once again excelled as an actor and has really come a very long way from his early days. Nothing more needs to be said about the actor because; Dhanush has once again proved his mettle and acting capabilities with this movie. If there is one actor who can emote well and at the same time underplay his emotions with subtlety, the credit has to be given to this actor.

Parvathy Menon! Where was she all this while? Is this the actor who had acted in ‘Poo’? Be it when she confesses her love to Maryan and every time he rebuffs her or when she learns from his friend that Maryan may after all be in love with her or when she learns of his captivity in Sudan through a phone call, this lady for sure knows how to captivate the audience with her acting prowess.

Nothing needs to be said about the actors who have acted as the Sudanese terrorists. They just look like a bunch of sloppy kids.

I have never been a big fan of A.R.Rahman and as everybody says, to really like his songs, you need to listen to them a couple of times. But not ‘Maryan’. I took an instant liking to all the songs the very first time I heard the Album. And yes, the songs are on a repeat mode not because I am trying to like them, but because I have fallen in love with them.

'Maryan’ has some breathtaking visuals, thanks to the Cinematographer Marc Koninckx.

Would say that ‘Maryan’ is worth a watch for a wonderfully talented star cast, excellent music, breathtaking visuals and more so, if you want to watch a poetry written on screen.                                           

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag-Movie Review

                      

                                 Bhaag Milkha Bhaag (Hindi).

Cast:                  Farhan Akhtar, Sonam Kapoor, Prakash Raj and Divya Dutta.

Directed by:      Rakeysh Om Praksh Mehra.

Written By:       Prasoon Joshi.

Music:               Shankar- Ehsaan- Loy.

The Story:

‘Bhaag Milkha Bhaag’ is a biopic on Milkha Singh, an athlete, who is also known as ‘TheFlying Sikh’. It is the story of a young boy, who is caught in the chaos caused by the India- Pakistan partition, which results in riots and commotion in the Punjab part of Pakistan. Milkha Singh’s (Farhan Akhtar) parents are killed in the riot and he moves to Delhi, where he meets his sister (Divya Dutta). Singh gets into the habit of stealing and later falls in love with Biro (Sonam Kapoor). However, Biro advices Milkha to lead an honest life.

Later Milkha Singh joins the Indian army. Milkha Singh gets noticed by the Sergeant (Prakash Raj) in the army and gets selected for the Melbourne Olympics. He trains hard for the Olympics, but loses the race. Later when he comes back to India, Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru, tells him to lead the Indian Team to Pakistan, for friendly races. However, when he reaches Pakistan, Milkha Singh is once again haunted by the childhood memories of his parents and the last words that were spoken by his dying father were, ‘Bhaag Milkha Bhaag’. It were these very words, which were said by a coach in the 1960 Olympic Games in Rome, which resulted in him dropping to the fourth position. However, later Milkha Singh wins in several places including Pakistan and it is the Pakistani Commander, who gives him the title ‘The Flying Sikh’.

Review:

Must say, that the movie is a perfect tribute to ‘The Flying Sikh’. Except for some melodrama and songs, which need some justification, the film is a must watch for all to get motivated and inspired, from the life of Milkha Singh.

Farhan Akhtar fits the bill as Milkha Singh and it is shown, that he has taken all the efforts and has gone that extra mile, to live and look like the legend.Kudos to him to have portrayed the character well.

Though Sonam Kapoor has nothing much to do in the film, she has played her part well and looks nothing like the fashion diva that she is in real life. That is the way she has been expected to look and she has done justice to the role.

The film has been well supported by other casts like Prakash Raj, Pavan Malhotra (as the coach who grooms Milkha Singh) and Divya Dutta (as Milkha Singh’s sister).

Music by Shankar- Ehsaan- Loy is good, but the background score sometimes makes one feel sad.

Must give credits to Binod Pradhan for the outstanding cinematography and amazing visuals.

However, the editing could have been better and this would have helped to cut the lengthy duration of the film, which runs for 188 minutes. The film is slow paced and is a little too long. Rather should say, the film jogs here and there.

Would say that ‘Bhaag Milkha Bhaag’ is a must watch for some inspirational moments.

Marriages are made in Heaven!! Oh...Really? - Funny Facts about Marriage.

In one of my previous article ‘I can get along …I cannot’, I had written on a serious note, as to why compatibility is important for the modern day marriage or relationship. Most of us have our highs and lows in a relationship, especially with our better half (Who is better here? The husband or the wife? I leave it to the readers to decide.) On a lighter vein, I wish to share with the readers some interesting facts about marriage and the humorous side of it.

Facts about Marriage:

1. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all we need is two hearts. By the end, we wish we had a club and a spade.
2. It is said that Marriages are made in Heaven and ordained from above, but so are hurricanes ordained from above.
3. Marriage is successful, as long as the husband and wife work as partners. The trouble begins, when they try to establish an identity of their own and make it a sole proprietorship.
4. Every man wants a beautiful, understanding and a smart wife who likes to cook. Remember to make sure, that you do not let all the four women meet.
5. In the first year of marriage, the husband will pull out the chair for the wife to sit. However, a couple of years down the line, they will be pulling out at each other’s hair.
6. There must be a give and take policy in marriage. The husband gives and the wife takes.
7. Communication is important for a successful marriage and this is the way it goes…The wife is docile and demure. Therefore, the husband speaks and the wife listens in the first year. In the second year, there is a reversal of role. Now the husband is docile and demure. The wife speaks and the husband listens. In the third year, the husband and wife speak and the neighbors listen.
8. Compromising is important in marriage….the wife and husband always compromise. The wife is always right and the husband always agrees.
9. Until we get married, we are not complete but after marriage, we stay confused.
10. This one is for the men. If you are wrong and stay quiet, you are wise, but if you are right and stay silent, it means that you are married.

Marriages are indeed made in heaven and no marriage is perfect. It is the flaws in marriage that add to the charm.

As somebody said” My wife and I were happy for twenty-five years, until we met.”

To write or not to write.......That is the question. Why is connecting with the readers important for a good writer?

The other day, I happened to read a write up in a newspaper on Ravinder Singh or popularly known as Ravin. Ravinder Singh is the author of ‘I too had a Love Story’ and ‘Can Love Happen Twice?’ both breezy romantic novels. Ravinder Singh is one amongst the many new generation writers, who enjoys a huge fan following, not because of his wisest choice of words and style of writing, but because of the depth and the way in which he connects with the readers. Ravinder Singh himself had once agreed that, although he was not very strong in grammar and punctuations, he was passionate about writing because he was able to connect with the younger generation.

It is this style and aspect of writing, that which makes a Ravinder Singh, a Chetan Bhagat or an Amish Tripathi  stand out from the group of elite writers who use the choicest of words and diction which the reader fails to comprehend and runs for a dictionary or Google the word, to understand the meaning. No, and please do not take offence here. I am not criticizing the classy writers and their fans, to each his own. Each writer has his/her own style of writing. It takes a lot of a pain and years of struggle to become an established writer. What I am trying to say is that, it is very important for a writer to connect with the readers and it is only when a writer connects with the readers, can he/she sustain as a creditable writer.

Writing had always been a passion for me. However, the pleasure and pressure of becoming a Commerce graduate, made me take up an altogether different course of study away from my passion. I must say, now, I have become a blogger by choice and by chance. It was the three to five hours of free time that I had in hand, made me get back to what I most loved doing- Writing/Blogging. Blogging gives me a sense of satisfaction and pleasure. I am able to connect with my readers and share my opinions and views with so many known and unknown friends.

This article is especially for those friends and readers who have time and are passionate about writing. You may be a stay at home mommy or a working from home homemaker and still have time for yourself. If you like to write or blog start right away. Writing or blogging is not rocket science. All that you need is the inkling to write. You must be willing to share with the world your ideas and opinions, without inhibitions. Just write what you have in your mind, on any topic or issue, but remember to connect with the reader. There is so much to write about. It could be a short story, which you can share, or an e- book, which is the ‘in thing’ now. Blogging is one of the best options for budding writers. It can help you in the early days to connect with the readers and read their pulse, so that you can judge what they expect from you and what you are good at. It is not necessary that you have to have an excellent command over the English language and be an authority in Grammar and Punctuations, all you need to know is that, you should have a decent knowledge of the language and a good flow of thoughts to write. If you have the fire in you to write and can write in such a way, that the readers lap up your style of writing, you have been rewarded for your effort. To me, getting an additional ‘like’ in my blog page and every increase in the number count of the page views is an achievement.

So, all you readers out there who are passionate about writing and who wish to blog, what are you waiting for? Start right away and let the world know, how good a writer you are.

Let me give some quick tips on blogging/ writing.

First, determine what you want to write about. Remember, if it is a blog keep the article fairly short and simple. A blog is for a light read. Do not write like an essay in history. The article should be interesting and there should be a connect with the readers. You will get responses from the readers depending on how well you are able to build a rapport with them.

Building a relationship is very important for a successful writer. Try to tell a story and involve the readers in the story. Most of us are sailing in the same boat. We are all human beings and have our emotional ups and downs. Writing about true to life incidents, will help the readers to understand the article better.

Be true to what you are writing. A good writer will not only give a good article, but his/her personality is also shown in the style of writing.

Write from the perspective of the reader. The reader tries to live his dreams and follow his passion through the works of the writer.

Last but not the least; write about what appeals interesting to you. Only when you enjoy your own writing, will it appeal to the readers as well and in that way you can have a captive audience.

I would rather be a Preethi Shenoy and connect with my readers, than be a Jane Austin, because every reader that I earn, is worth a million awards for me.

I can get along....I cannot - Why is Compatibility important in the modern day Relationship?

Rajiv and Upasana have been married for three years. In recent times, they have been facing many issues in their marriage. The time they spent together had reduced and they had almost stopped communicating. They had started arguing over small issues. They could never agree upon the program that they watched on television or the restaurant that they went to eat on weekends. They had started to find fault with each other over trivial issues and though both of them realized, that there was no justification in their arguments, their ego stood between them. They did not care to apologize or resolve the issue. They termed it as ‘Compatibility’ problem.

The Mishra’s have been married for twenty-eight years. Their marriage life has weathered many storms but still they were happy with each other and enjoyed each other’s company.  Mr. Mishra had once financially lost a couple of lakhs in shares and trade, which he had not disclosed to his wife. When Mrs. Mishra later came to know of it, she felt cheated. However, as time passed she was able forgive him and move on. Now, although they have been married for twenty-eight years, they were the best of couple and companions. The degree of compatibility is more in the second example than the first one. Be it three years or twenty eight years, it is not the number of years but it is the element of understanding, that which is important for a successful relationship.

In one of my previous articles on Relationship, I had mentioned that lack of compatibility is an important reason for marriages turning sour. What is this word compatibility? Why has the term gained such an important status in the modern day relationship?

Compatibility means when two people have the same opinion and view on matters that are of significant importance to both of them and are able to reach an agreeable decision. Compatibility is necessary for all relationships but is most important between the man and wife.

 Nobody is perfect. All of us have our flaws. Is there anybody who can say that they have never had an argument with their partner? All of us have difference of opinions on various issues because every individual is a separate entity. However, the fact is how soon are we able to resolve our differences and move ahead. When problems are not resolved and when agreeable decisions are not reached, that is when compatibility issues arise. Having an argument is healthy for a relationship. Only when two people interact and give their own ideas and views on matters of importance, can both the partners look at the flip side of their views. However, compatibility issues crop up when the argument is for a silly reason and when there is no justification for the difference of opinions.

People who are facing compatibility issues should look at the bigger picture of life. Just a few moments of disagreement does not mean that you are having compatibility problems or having frequent arguments also does not mean that you are facing a storm in your relationship. Self-introspection is necessary to realize where the fault lies and with whom?  It is essential to remember that it is not the intensity of the problem, but it is blowing the problem out of proportion that which causes compatibility issues. I know of people who are poles apart in their personality but are the best of partners in life because they complement each other. This is what keeps the relationship thriving.

There are three C’s that which are essential and complement compatibility.

Communication is very important for a marriage to succeed. The more we communicate the lesser are the conflicts. If there are any unresolved issues that need attention, DO NOT postpone resolving them. There is no problem in the world that cannot be resolved if we take the time to sit down and talk. However, if it is best to just sleep over the issue then it is better to maintain silence because time will ease the problem. Nevertheless, deciding to sit down and talk or to maintain silence depends on the intensity of the problem and the approach of the partners because they are the best judge to decide about their priorities.

Companionship is essential for a successful married life. Treat your partner like a friend. Just as how we would forgive, our friends, for the mistakes that they make, learn to forgive your partner as well for the small mistakes that he/she commits. Never blow small issues out of proportion. When you have committed the mistake, do not hesitate to say a sorry. It is not going to cost you anything .Let go of the ego, which is the biggest enemy to any relationship.

Compromising is another important element for a successful marriage. Always have a give and take policy. There is nothing to lose by giving in once awhile.  Never play the blame game. As somebody said”In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship. It is about doing something, even when you don’t want to”

Life is short. We are the best judge to decide whether we have compatibility or not with our partner. Never let an outsider interfere and decide for you because;

“There are a lot of people in the world. No one ever sees everything the same way you do; it just doesn't happen. So, when you find one person who gets a couple of things, especially if they're important ones... you might as well hold on to them. You know”

How I wish that you too knew......What men expect the women to know.

The response to the article on “How I wish that you knew…..What women want the men to know” was overwhelming. As said earlier, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. All the women could connect very well with the article. Not that the men could not relate to it or that, the article was beyond their understanding, it is just that all the male friends who read it, chose to remain silent because, ignoring the message was easier than getting committed. Men will always be men. Being from Venus the women are a generous lot, though we do show our shades of grey at times. I would not like to deny the men from the benefit of sharing their opinions and views on “What Men Expect from the Women”. Therefore, here is a list of the unspoken words of men pertaining to what they wish that the women knew. It is not a comprehensive list that I have shared here. There may be more to the list, which the readers can add, if they wish to.

Men want the women to give as much as importance to their game talk, just as how much of an importance the women expect from the men, in their girlish talk. Be it a discussion on the current affairs, news or some new App. that has been introduced, it may be boring and a drag for the women, but just lend your ears and listen to them.

Just as how women want the men to appreciate them and tell them that they look beautiful, men expect as much of an acknowledgment from the women.

Never nag a man. He may be the next embodiment of Lord Buddha in patience, but nagging will have reversal effects and may turn him into the next villain of a movie.

Acting silly and innocent is okay once a while, but showing it too often will make the women look dumb.

Never hurt the male ego. Just as how the women do not like the men to compare them with their mother, the men expect that the women do not compare them with their father.  Therefore, even if your father treated you like a princess and your husband treats you like a ‘living thing’, act as if, you are being treated like a queen. Acting once a while, will atleast earn you an award from your husband if not from the film federation.

Never end an argument with ‘Fine’ because, it will end the argument temporarily but in the mind, “The argument continues.”

Never bring the man’s mother as a part of an argument unnecessarily. It will later require damage control.

Men like the women to show them some respect in front of their parents and relatives. Therefore, you may act like Tom and Jerry at home, but never forget to project your husband as a Spiderman, Superman or Batman who has come to protect you, if not the world.

Women should also realize that, just as how they have their priorities set right, men have their priorities as well. Again, it is the order that differs. Show interests in their careers and passions.

Do not expect the men to understand your girlish talk and gossips. Just like how we do not understand their ’intellectual’ talk, they cannot understand ‘girlish' talks.

If they wish to spend their time in front of the television, just let them be. Do not wait forever with the expectation that they will turn their attention to you. That is never going to happen, when they are immersed in an engrossing program or a movie.

Men always have selective amnesia. They will fail to remember what was said a couple of days ago. So do not try to remind them about it in your present argument, it is just a waste of time.

Last but not the least; never make the mistake of expecting too much from the men because, men will always be men. They would love to spend more time with their iPad, Laptop and friends at any given day, because they are made that way. Not that they do not wish to spend quality time with us, it is just that women are too much of a complicated species for the men to understand. That is why they find it easier to work with the most complex of the gadgets and machines, because women are way beyond the understanding capabilities of the men.